Nashville Rules Of The Road

1) Turn signals will give away your next move. A
   real Nashville driver never uses them.

2) Under no circumstances should you leave a safe
   distance between you and the car in front of you,
   or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
   putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3) Crossing two or more lanes in a single
   lane-change is considered going with the flow.

4) The faster you drive through a red light, the
   smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5) Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only
   as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable
   in the Nashville area during rush hour.

6) Just because you're in the left lane and have
   no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean
   that a Nashville driver flashing his high beams
   behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your 
   spot.

7) Always slow down and take a really good look
   when you see an accident or even someone changing 
   a tire.

8) It is traditional in Nashville to honk your horn
   at cars that don't move the instant the light 
   turns green.

9) Real Nashville women drivers can put on pantyhose
   and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour 
   in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

10) Real Nashville men drivers can remove female 
    pantyhose and bra at seventy-five miles per hour 
    in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

11) Heavy snow, ice, fog and rain are no reasons
    to change any of the previously listed rules.
    These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring
    a natural selection process for body shops,
    junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

12) In the Nashville area, flipping someone the
    bird is considered an Illinois salute;
    this gesture should always be returned.