Martha Stewart vs. A Real Tennessee Girl ... 

Martha's Way #1: 
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a 
sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the 
cone. For Pete's sake, you're probably eating it 
lying on the couch with your feet up, anyway. 


Martha's Way #2: 
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in 
the bag with the potatoes. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the 
pantry for up to a year. 


Martha's Way #3: 
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the pan, use 
a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't 
be any white mess on the outside of the cake. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. 


Martha's Way #4: 
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still 
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb 
the excess salt for an instant "fix me up." 

A Tennessee Girl: 
If you over salt a dish while you are 
cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me 
A Tennessee Girl's motto: I made it and you will eat 
it and I don't care how bad it tastes. 


Martha's Way #5: 
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the 
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
Celery? If it doesn't have calories, why keep it? 


Martha's Way #6: 
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before 
baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include 
brushing egg whites over the crust and so don't do it. 


Martha's Way #7: 
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and 
rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 

A Tennessee Girl: 
Take a lime, cut it in quarters and rub it on the 
rim of a tall glass. Put lime in glass, fill with 
gin and tonic water and sip until the throbbing goes 
away. (Repeat as required.) 


Martha's Way #8: 
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex 
dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that 
makes opening jars easy. 

A Tennessee Girl: Go ask the cute neighbor to do it. 


And finally...Martha's Way #9: 
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. 
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles 
and sauces. 

A Tennessee Girl: What's leftover wine?