How many Christians does it take to change a 
lightbulb?


Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already 
              in the air.

Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the lightbulb, 
              and nine to pray against the spirit 
              of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when 
               the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, 
               and seven to say how much better 
               they liked the old bulb.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the lightbulb, 
               and four wives to tell him how to 
               do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in 
            favor of or against the lightbulb. However, 
            if you have found in your own journey that 
            lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are 
            invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance 
            about your personal relationship with your light
            bulb and present it next month at our annual 1 
            lightbulb Sunday service in which we will explore 
            a number of lightbulb traditions, including 
            incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life,
            and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths 
            to luminescence.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the lightbulb, 
          and two or three committees to approve the 
          change.  Oh, and also a casserole.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodists: A whole congregation. One to change the 
            lightbulb, and the rest of the congregation 
            to be sure that he doesn't backslide.